The OTHER SIDE of "Destiny"

While walking my way to the office I still have time to think outside the box and just today I realized that there’s no such thing as…

…”DESTINY”

What made me think that way?  Almost four months of being independent and working my arse off triggers what I called “reality button”.  The phenomenon outweighs and even cancelled out some of my in-born beliefs creating a huge paradigm shift.

I used to believe in destiny until today…

I thought even though I made mistakes, destiny will be there to correct it…

That in the end what’s meant to happen will eventually happen…

After all that’s how destiny works, right?

But after contemplating on this, I realized that destiny does not exist.  Because if it did exist, then that would lead us into utter dependency to the point of not moving forward[do something] and just wait for it to happen BUT in reality it is YOU who makes the choice and the one who will bear the end result whether it is positive or negative.  If it’s the latter I speak, we’ll perceive it as…

…“Lessons learned the HARD WAY.”  And all we can do is face it, bear with it until our lives is sucked out of us without mercy.

Don’t leave it to DESTINY; it’s just a concept so we can have something to be positive about when everything turns sour.

It’s YOU who makes your own destiny let alone that thought sink in your head…

Destiny could be pretty tricky so hold on, and try to walk the path you created and if needed, go against the non-existent current called “Destiny”.

Patience is not just “waiting” for something to happen, it can also be the time you never know you needed so you can further think things out.  Patience goes with FAITH, ‘coz basically you’re waiting for something without the assurance that it will surely knocks right at your door step.

P.S super late post ^^, I decided to post it today 'coz I'm feeling all the negative energy coming out so might as well contradict it and made something to divert my thoughts. Anyway till then folks~~~

ALIPIN SA GIGILID

I’ve been timid for a while, trying to compress all my raging emotions.  But today I’ve had enough, I blurted out all of my bitterness and frustrations…well not exactly to the subject of my negative feelings but at least it feels great to free all those unwanted thoughts, feelings and emotions.

HOWEVER! Something doesn’t feel right, not unless I shout directly to their faces how horrible the environment is with their presence [in there] polluting it.  It suffocates me and I just want OUT!!!

The once I thought a healthy workplace turns into a toxic dungeon.  I don’t know how else I can deal with this kind of surrounding.

Imagine every morning you’ll encounter a walking object of (annoying) perfection, high as the cloud your majesties, and a whole bunch of inconsiderate/insensitive troop of tech-freaks…how great can it be? *insert sarcasm* >:D

I’m running out of reason to continue with this forsaken path and somewhere my enthusiasm and drive to work completely depleted.  I’m DOOMED and DONE FOR ahuhuhu

P.S I HATE THEM!!!

Holiday Gone Wrong: A Weekend to Remember

This weekend sure is memorable, wanna know why? Well I got myself locked out from our room with no spare key (at least at the moment), dayum! > < I left all my stuffs inside of course that includes my personal belongings so today I went to the office carrying just myself, wearing my roommate’s top and flats. How pitiful!  TBH, I felt pathetic and hopeless but thanks to my roommates especially Ate Emma who lent some clothes for me to wear, such a wonderful “Ate” ^____^ plus the fact that I did washed my used clothes [yesterday, including my pants] did somehow made things bearable [except the fact that I have no phone geez, I never realized living without a phone could bring such torture haha :D]

With everything I’ve been through in just a couple of hours I felt all worn out haha, I’m still grateful though that I don’t end up going to the office wearing “pambahay” and slippers haha.

To end this post, I’ll share one of my officemates’ comments when they saw me TODAY…

“Girl, nasan yung bag mo?’

After telling them the whole story she said…

“That explains why you looked as if you’ve just gone out from mountain climbing.”

“Bakit mukha kang hindi naligo? Don’t tell me you also left your grooming stuff inside.”

Omo! I know I look horrible but I don’t mind the fact that they saw me at my worst state haha [some positive vibes just kicked in] XD

That would be all~

Mata ne!

When you realized there's something MORE...

 I can't deal with this damn feeling =_= *bow*

I want to erase everything but I just can't! T^T I swear I won't write something about him but this post proves I failed to do so.  Last night I had a dream, he was there...in jeans and plain shirt, what's outrageous is...I'M FOLLOWING HIM!!! Err, more like I'm stalking him because he's not aware that I'm tailing him >.>)]

What could be more embarrassing is when you're caught in the act!  You guess it right *face palm* he noticed that someone is staring at him [which is me].  He turn his head and find me in a suspicious position.  Before I knew it I was running like my butt is on fire [run for your lives!] well who wouldn't?  He obviously recognized me as he called out my name, damn! XD

In the end I find myself pretending to buy a snoopy towelette.  O-EM-GEE!  He approached me and everything went in a blur

-THE END-

(I hardly remember the details or how my dream ended, I don't know if that's a good thing XD)

Confusion Triggers Curiousity XD

Last time I made a post about identifying whether someone is in love or not.  That time I was very sure of what I’m typing but right now I’m perplexed, in the first place I really don’t know what it means to be in love or to like someone as in something that is far beyond simple infatuation.  That’s why I can’t believe I did post something that I have no knowledge about, geez what’s gotten into me? *sigh*

Before whenever I want to dispose some unwanted “crush” what I do is…

*drum rolls*

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I confessed!  As simple as that haha >///< and then I realized the embarrassment that sudden jolt of bravery entails.  I-D-I-O-T-I-C indeed! But it works haha, come to think of it anyone who’ve act like that will forever be ashamed of what she have done, to the point of voluntarily forgetting that shameful incident.  To be honest that resort is somewhat appealing hehe >:D blame the anime I’m currently watching (Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun).  The protagonists are too HONEST besides I’m curious too so might as well find out whether this strange feeling will go away for good upon confessing but then surely it will ruined everything and nothing will be the same again with our friendship.  Aish! Will I risk something that special just to know the mysteries of that thing called LOVE?

P.s. This one’s about me so I’m not breaking my promise, k?

Till then~

Feeling POSITIVE

Today I realized a few things, first is how I don’t need anyone to feel complete.  Recently I’ve been madly obsessed over some guy luckily it’s just a temporary surge of emotion and somehow I’m completely getting over it.  I don’t feel giddy anymore at the thought of him; I no longer get excited whenever I receive a message from him and above all I don’t feel upset and overly sensitive whenever he’s concerned.  I misunderstood my feelings AGAIN haha from now on I'll stop writing things about him >:D

"As if I still care *smirk*"

Another realization is I’m pretty much contented on what I become, I mean physically.  Like what my officemate often lectured me “acceptance lang yan, girl”.  The mere thought of that phrase indeed help me lessen my insecurities, besides God made us all beautiful in our very own way.  Sometimes it’s just a matter of how you will carry yourself, I’m quite heavy though haha but who cares, XD.  It’s up to us and we don’t need anyone’s approval, we are who we are so be proud of it :) 

 "Perfectly IMPERFECT"

 "Justifying my shortcomings be like...HAHAHA"

Lastly, it won’t hurt to exert a little effort to look much better; I mean we all want to look presentable so it’s just normal especially for those now in the working industry to put a little color in their faces.  Again you’re doing this for yourself, when you look good the pleasant feeling will follow because you’re confident enough to face the world.  It’s not a move of “kaartehan” keep that in mind, k? But if you're really uncomfortable putting make up a simple SMILE can pay for it ;) you'll be surprise what a huge difference it can make.

 "It's the best ACCESSORY"

We are all worthy and deserves to be happy don’t let anyone take that from our grasp.  One more thing to remember, the choice is ours and TODAY...

 "Being HAPPY is a CHOICE"

Till my next post ^^,

Happy Two Decades ^____^

Birthday Blues? Haha I don’t get it, today is my birthday and I’m supposed to be happy, well I am happy HOWEVER…something felt wrong, I can’t figure it out T^T

Maybe it’s because I’m sort of disappointed that for over the years my closest friends [I mean those who are like my sisters] kept forgetting about my b-day while in my shoes I never did forget their birthdays.   If I’m not too expectant perhaps I won’t be this gloomy > <

Leaving those bitterness behind, I want to say how grateful I am to my parents especially to my mom who gave birth to me sometimes in August, to my Dad’s participation or else all these [my existence] won’t be possible XD and of course to our Heavenly Father for giving the most precious gift someone could ever receive, life.  As the saying goes, “…what you did to your life is your gift to GOD.” Unfortunately at this point I still can’t present something that I’m proud of to God, my life’s not perfect despite having all the essential things [mostly material things] in life for I know something is still missing…for that I’m still incomplete and probably will keep wandering around until I figure out the reason for my existence.

I appreciate everything I have and I’ll be forever grateful that I’ve been gifted with a wonderful family I can always count on, my Mom who always got my back, my Dad though we often got into fights I still love so dearly [mind you, earlier he mentioned my name as he greets me a happy b-day…I don’t know but it tugs something in my heart as if my name sound so special and pleasant to the ear], my two adorb sisters who hides their cheesiness behind every “panget” and “tae” words they’ve said, also to Ate Flor who worries and takes care of my supplies hehe. 

As for the one who greeted me the earliest time possible (12:37 am with matching smiley pa), Kimeeh >///< he even got me a long message [actually he asked if I prefer long messages, pabebe pa ba ako? Of course I told him the truth].  Actually knowing he remembered my special day is enough to made me smile from ear to ear XD.

My cousin Gemma gave one of the longest message greeting I’ve ever received she never failed to touch my heart. Another person who made me feel special is Sis Grace, though we haven’t seen each other personally she still remembers my existence, my most thoughtful friend I’ll give her that credit.

There were also other greetings which come from my college friend Marvin, my superior Sir Rudy, my cousin Gellie, Kuya G, my best friend Roxanne, and HS friend Jessa.

To my MY PSBC FAMILY >///< this is my first b-day away from home but I never felt alone after all your warm greetings , I can’t ask for more. I can say this is one of the best b-day celebrations I ever had.  For the cake, thank you very much Jenna, Ate Lizette, Madame Winnie, Anne, Kuya Jay-Ar, Kuya Eric, Kuya Bernand, Em and Ms. Marge, words will never be enough to say how much I appreciate the surprise you guys prepared for me. I’ll treasure this very moment for the rest of my life. 

This is Faye, twenty and still counting~