Hopeless Romantic

Just finished watching Love, Rosie...after seeing the movie I realized how hopeless romantic I am well for goodness sake we all want a sappy happy ending kind of relationship. It's human nature to crave for love and affection, someone you can call MINE and mine alone.

The story talks about two best friends, cliche right? But what made it different is, the timing for their unspoken love was always wrong. Blame those what ifs! They're scared and all, to the point of getting into relationship with somebody else, let's be prank...not being with the one you truly love is the worst feeling ever!!! Like the world stop from spinning around and all you could think about is, "my life's all FUCKED UP!"

Newsflash! any relationship won't moved into next stage unless someone had spoken about his/her undying love, CONFESSIONS may I say... Easily said than done right? Actually what made it soooo difficult to admit our feelings is our fear of 'rejection' that in an instant even the friendship can't be saved. Let me tell you something, leave those fears behind and just tell him/her how you feel before it is too late for both of you. The secret behind a successful declaration of love is not expecting something in return and that's what will make a difference.

I once fell in love with my best friend, it's just a puppy love and we didn't end up together. You ask why? Let's just say mine was one of those 'one-sided' love. When you love, you became selfish and selfless at the same time. Don't feel sorry for me, k? Truth be told I'm completely over him and right now I'm just so happy that he did not turned out to be one of those playboys.

I'm not broken or something, but I do believe that someday someone will come and prove that forever exists. Cheesy much? well that's me, definitely hopeless romantic.

That's it for now, till then...

Jaa~~~

Day 53

I keep asking myself why am I still UNEMPLOYED...

As days passed by my frustrations are piling up, while my batch mates are getting employed here I am lazying out at home. It's not like I'm not doing anything actually I already submit a couple of applications unfortunately they seem unimpressed with my credentials. I would like to get out of my comfort zone and look for a job far away from home, manila perhaps but my plans were hindered by my parents due to some safety issue. I sucked big time, like I can't do anything on my own I did wait for an opportunity to come but for how long? My momentum was declining, my drive to look for a job faltered, well who won't? when all you can get was discouragement and rejection.

I'm stuck between waiting and wanting to get employed already which made me more depressed. *sigh* I'm confused as well, whether to start moving or wait until something happened.



OH GOD! Please guide me

Back at One

I entitled this post "Back at One" why?

For the nth time I'm starting all over again, my journey towards God I mean. Coz as you know, humans would probably get lost. In my case I got lost in a place called SIN, it was so dark in there full of needs you have to satisfy at all cost... I've been a prisoner of lust, I'm craving for things that I know were forbidden and as I commit myself to this earthly desires I fell into what they called as temptations.

Lack of time talking with God made me weak, my guilt for committing such sin started to eat the fire in me. I can't face HIM, repentance is something I'm not yet ready for all I could ever think of is...

...am I worthy of His forgiveness? If the next day I'd be doing the same mistake. I got tired of my own selfish drives that I fear God might be feeling the same thing. I felt pathetic and dirty, and talking to a Holy God is something I can't do not until today came.

After I don't know how long at last I opened and read the Bible and there it talks about forgiveness, that no matter how many times I commit sins God will be there ready to forgive me as long as I repent sincerely.

And I do! one of the reasons why I can't say say a single 'sorry', it's because I can't find the will to do so. But now, on my knees I regret every single sin I committed. I ask for forgiveness and there's this peace that comes within.

I may fall into temptations again but this time, I pray that God lend me strength to resist and win this battle together with Him.

Luke 17

So This is HEARTACHE

Two words to describe what I'm feeling right now, pained and lonely. That night should not happened, if only I fought hard not to confess.

He's not the tall, dark and handsome type... He's more of the tall, timid and 'mabait' type of guy, he is so nice you'll most likely misinterpret his actions. My friend once said, "hindi ka naman siguro magiging mabait sa taong HINDI mo gusto." I hold onto that which eventually cause me to fall harder. I won't blame him though partly it's his fault, I'm at fault too kung hindi sana ako 'umasa' at 'nag-assume' things will be a lot easier, maybe we're still friends sharing each others pain and laughter.

I want answers, if my love can reach him...unfortunately he can't see me as a grown up woman. Why life can be so unfair?! Just because we're 11 years apart, is that enough reason to reject my feelings? Masakit!!! I thought age doesn't matter could be TRUE but it's just my imagination...it DO matters!

There's nothing left to bleed, my heart can't take this anymore...

I woke up from a wonderful dream now I'm about to face the cruel reality where you and me don't exists.

Crushes

[Oh well it's been a while since I had my last crush, the last time I showed my affection was with Exo's BAEKHYUN and that was so last year which ended that same year coz of "dating issues" (bitter much?) Right now, again my  heart beats in an erratic manner because of this two music artist.


TAKAHIRO MORITA

He's One Ok Rock's vocalist, they're music screams of metal rock which I'm not very fond of until I heard him sing. Words are not enough to explain how wonderful his voice is (eargasm), it's not the typical husky voice actually it's very versatile. See it for yourself!

Each time he's so into the music was just...MESMERIZING ~_~ I could watch his performance all day without getting tired of it >///<

He's unique! He's the only one I've seen who made the most wacky shots ever. For an artist who protects and maintain a perfect image, he's an EXCEPTION. No matter how horrible he looks like, well I admit he is not that handsome but there's more to it than just good looks. I'll still bet for him ^^,

TAKALICIOUS~~~





KIM HEECHUL

The "King of Vanity" >;D what an introduction. After seeing one of his variety show, WGM I've developed certain interest in him. Beside his good looks he is also witty which is very admirable for someone like me who falls for a guy who speaks intelligently or full of sense plus his quirkiness and sense of humor adds more to his charm.

He is more of a pretty face to me, (sorry oppa ^^,) though in WGM he shows how manly he is geez "kinikilig" na naman ako >///<

Because of my sudden liking for this guy I watched SuJu's previous music videos only to find out that he is not that good of a performer. I keep an eye on him on each performance but he'll always be out of my sight one moment later. I don't know, but I guessed the camera intentionally hides him *face palm* haha

Despite his shortcomings I won't doubt how he made it into showbiz industry, honestly speaking he have what it takes to survive in the industry and that is CHARM... regardless of his poor dancing skill he can still put a smile in his fans' faces and I think that should be enough.

CHERRY OPPA~~~ ]

My Old Posts from TUMBLR

1.) REALIZATION!!! I LOVE WRITING <3

Ngayon narealized ko na I write to impress others pala, which is quite wrong. Pero honestly, deep inside me kaya ko gusto magkaron ng readers is because sa kanila ako nakakakuha ng strength para magsulat, they also inspires me at mas namomotivate ako na ipagpatuloy ang story na isinusulat ko. Sadly all my stories were left unfinished, dahil nga sa walang readers eh para akong nalolobat sa pagsusulat. Simple lang dati ang pangarap ko, ang makapagsulat na isang story n masasabi ko talagang akin ^^, but then ng madiscover ko ang mga sites kung san nagpopost ng mga stories eh nun ako nagkaron ng interes na mgapost din, para kasing naging competitive ako. I don’t say na hindi maganda ang naging epekto nun kasi dahil sa mga sites na yun eh nakakabasa ako ng mga stories na nakapagpakilig, patawa, paiyak, kinainisan at iba pa. Actually I wish I can be like those authors, but then naisip ko why just be me? And try to continue those stories that I left behind? Thank You very much to my favorite author, by reading her thoughts narealize ko ang mga bagay na to. Even though no one will dare to read my stories, I’ll just continue writing coz this is my passion and somehow I find a way of expressing my ideas through this.

2.) Congrats MYNAME!!!

According to allkpop, MYNAME got the 3rd spot in terms of album sales next to BIGBANG and SNSD. HOORAY!!! they thank all MYGirls who support thier very first album ‘Message’. And now they are ready to conquer the Japanese stage, preparing for the Japanese version of ‘Message’. So to all Japanese, watch out for MYNAME’s big blast ^_______^. You’ll never regret listening to their songs. So as for me, I’ll keep in touch to support them though I’ll be busy too because of studying. Goodluck MYNAME!!! ILOVEYOU ^3^ MWAHHHH.

3.) ALBUM T^T

Hindi na ako naka order ng album ng MYNAME which is very frustrating but then FAMILY FIRST before FANDOM. :)))))) ilove MYNAME as much as ilove food hahaha

(mehehe, I'm such a crazy fangirl way back then ^^,)

4.) I QUIT!

From now on this will be my last post about Kpop coz I you can see I’m quitting as fangirl. Yes, it’s hard to give up something that you use to hold this tight but I have to do this as a sacrifice for what God have done for me. I’m happy with my decision coz I’ll be serving God whole-heartedly. But then again, even though I gave up on them I won’t forget every bit of existence of the kpop artists that I used to love, they will remain and will occupy a space in my heart forever that once in my life I become a fan of them :))). SAYOUNARA KPOP…

(geez, one of the things I wasn't able to fulfill -_-" wanna see my next post?)

5.) KPOP Again???

My gas! kanina nanuod ako ng MV ng MYNAME dahil hindi ko napigilan at isa lang naisip ko “BAT ANG GAGWAPO NAMAN NILA DITO?” oh my ang laki ng improvement ha lalo na si GUNWOO, crush ko na ata haha. *sigh* hindi ko natupad yung sinabi ko sa last post ko na about kpop but here I am posting again about them… about what I thought about them. huhu I REALLY MISS THEM. T-T

6.) It's Hard to Admit

(one of my drama-filled posts ^___^)

Oh great I know that this is so not appropriate but I’ll still post it anyway. hahaha. Actually there is a friend of mine who’s ignoring me for who knows what reason, I just don’t get it why every time I started a conversation he seems not interested and cold. I miss his old self. Everything about him change, I don’t know what could be the reason. all I can say is that I really miss him. The old times where we are happy chatting about the things we are interested. He always show passion and enthusiasm to our topic, we even share personal thoughts and it seems that we understand each other. Way back then he shows that he really cares for me. I miss how he called me by my name that he said he was more used to calling me ____ than with my real name. I miss how he respond to my GMs. How he greeted me “good morning.” And get upset after knowing that my unli text was near to expire. It’s hard to admit my feelings because I don’t want to develop certain feelings for a friend. He maybe a lunatic and weird-looking but I don’t care, I like him just the way he was. I do really care that’s why I made up my mind that I won’t give up on him, for the nth time I’ll still try to make him believe that there’s a God. I don’t want him to be an Atheist for the rest of his life. Hopefully he’ll listen to me. But for now I’ll act like I don’t exist.

(here's another one)

Ayoko na >_<

huhu ayoko na talaga. I’m hurt without knowing na nasakatan niya pala ako. Isa syang malaking SNOB, I know hindi ko dapat siya ijudge ako lang naman kasi itong lapit ng lapit. Nakakapagod pala magtyaga sa kanya, lalo na at wala namand response nagmumukha lang tuloy akong desperada. Hayaan niya from now on I’ll leave him alone. Bahala na siya sana sumaya siya kung anu ang meron siya. Bye my dear friend who I learned to like, don’t worry kakalimutan ko na ang feelings ko sa kanya. Basta lahat lahat… everything about him. </3

Good Goodbye ^_^)/ farewell thisisme18xaday

MIracle in Cell No. 7

I can't believe I'll shed tears because of this movie... It is the story of a man whose mentally impaired and was been sentenced to death due to false accusations. This movie shows what a loving father is, despite his incapability he was still able to take good care of his sole daughter Yesung. I just can't take that they were victims of unjust process of the law, I wonder if there were also like them... out there who's innocent yet executed just because they don't have the position, the money, the power. Lagi na lang ba natin paiiralin ang baluktot na pamamalakad na meron ang lipunan natin ngayon? Well, I won't let that happen in the near future, I've decided to pursue LAW to protect and justify the innocents. They were just victims and it breaks my heart knowing that they were hurt. To sum it up, he died with dignity because It was all for LOVE. I admire Yong Go... YOU'RE the BEST... GOODLUCK to your upcoming projects and may you inspire more viewers.