[Entry: August 10, 2015]

Yesterday was a blast! I can’t help but think that each day I spent with Kim it’s always a day well-spent full of wonderful memories but I know it’s too soon to assume that after all we’ve only hang out twice…still it’s a great thing to look back whenever I’m feeling lonely :)

My very first anime event, otaku expo which I attended together with Kim and his easy to get along with classmate Niel was all it took to enjoy the event despite the fact that it was just the three of us.  Anime Quiz Bee, Merchandise, Jpop and Cosplay made wonders that day XD…

There’s this quiz bee entitled “HU U” wherein participants need to identify the name, title of the anime and the seiyuu of the anime character that will be flashed on the screen.  The game made me realized two things; one is how outdated and old school I am, geez I barely kept up with my two companions.  Honestly, I’m not very familiar with most of the characters…I felt pathetic! Another thing I realized is unknowingly I’ve abandoned and forgot what it takes to be an “Otaku” it’s like my old self being a diehard fan of anime was gone.  I find difficulty in remembering all the facts, everything about a certain anime… to make it short, I CAN’T RELATE!!! and Evil Kim never fails to tease me, it adds up to the shame I’m feeling if he only knew.  The heck > <

Every anime lovers would want any piece of tangible anime related stuff they could collect (e.g. shirts, posters, mugs, figurines, pins, keychains and a whole lot more) well who wouldn’t?  You’re happy just seeing this stuff in your closet, there’s a pride in it that through buying you were able to show how much you love that specific anime.  Collectibles…hmmm… not now > o < haha I don’t have budget for that just yet.  My heart was torn into pieces upon seeing RYOMA ECHIZEN figure, feeling helpless ‘coz all I can do was stare at it huhu.  Maybe someday, I’ll get my hands in it HAHAHA

Another thing that made me realized how much I changed is when I deserted JPOP and succumbs to KPOP.  I felt bad!  I used to memorized and sing out loud each anime songs I loved that I also erased western songs to make room for more Japanese songs… but now, KPOP take over my phone L.  Recently One Ok Rock is the only thing that connects me to Jpop, I deleted all anime songs before shocks! Probably one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever done.  During battle of the bands, there’s this band who sang “Driving Myself” Prince of Tennis’ ending song I got so excited and even said “finally! Something I can enjoy.” Until the vocalist open his mouth and no lyrics comes out, =_=’ seriously? He did not memorize the lyrics?  Disappointed! HAHA well I can give the band an A for the effort of playing it, ghad hindi lang pala ako ang nagmamahal at fan na fan ng POT >///<.

What’s an anime event without cosplay?  One of the things I really look forward to whenever I heard of an event.  Seeing cuties dressed in maid costumes with makeup that emphasized their Japanese-like features, extravagant mecha costumes and of course pretty boys who made no effort with their costumes, their looks was enough to make girls squeal.  There were also those that look as if “napadaan lang” and Kim can’t help but voiced out his [rude/offensive] comments, what to expect with that guy? He can’t possible hide his obvious dislike for something HAHA, bad! XD But when he appreciate it, aba! Expect that he’ll turn his gaze for a moment longer than what is required, like with the girl who portrays a character from an online game monster something… >3< but he refuse to take a photo with the ones he like unlike me and Niel haha we approach shamelessly those cosplayers to have a shot with us.  For me it will serve as my very own souvenir from that memorable event.

Yesterday’s experience awaken my love for anime, I know I’ve wasted great amount of time on some trashy stuffs but anime was still there…waiting for me to return giving me a sense of comfort I only knew during my childhood days.  I will always love anime regardless of my age ^_____^

[Entry: August 7, 2015]

Day-um! Err, been sighting this word quite often > < and I know what a word to start this entry haha.  Anyway I just figured out why I’m having butterflies in my stomach each time I read Abbi Glines works it’s ridiculously because of her male protagonists’ POV that invaded my senses, knowing how hopeless romantic I am >///<

The thing is, they [Sea Breeze Boys] spoke like a lovesick teenagers, they were so explicit in expressing their thoughts, emotions, feelings that obviously will make every girl squeal from those heart fluttering words.  I myself was a victim of that HAHAHA! It’s so sweet that you’ll get hooked! What I’m scared about is what if I grew accustomed to that and helplessly look for that trait in every guy? 

[Entry: August 6, 2015]

Just for Now is making me upset. Ghad! This is the first time I actually appreciate a character whose life is so messed up, normally if one of the character’s past is unpleasant it gets in the way and I turned down that story.  It is something I can’t handle; I want purity and only perfection which is kinda off.  We all know nobody is perfect and characters in books is no exception and if it exist it will all be written based on someone’s fictitious mind. 

My heart hurts, it seems like I felt the pain of Preston’s character.  I wanna cry and sympathized for his misfortunes, what if someone like him does exist? Geez, I know very well I can’t handle that >___<

People having the same situation as Preston think they will never be good enough just because their life is tainted.  Goodness! Double tap in my sensitive heart T^T I end up having this weird emotional attachment with a character for the very first time! Not infatuation thou, but more likely because I deeply care about this one.  I can only wish someone will come and barge in their lives to save them from the pit of despair, just like what Amanda did in the story…BLOODY TOUCHING I must say.

“You can’t easily lie to someone you love after all you can never LOVE a LIE.”

“Hearts don’t realize they’ve been lied to.  They still love anyway.”

The last few chapters upset me even more! I’ve never been this frustrated over a book, I think?  How can I get over this? 

Till then~

Mistakes, Regrets, Acceptance = Lesson Learned

All my life I had a hard time making decisions for myself, it's like I always need someone's approval or better yet if there's someone who could decide for my sake instead. I can't help it! It's much easier that way T^T

I've grown dependent to my mom, like what the saying goes “Mothers knows best…” so I rely on her most of the time to the point that I can no longer get out of her shadow. I tend to go with the flow enduring the results I know deep inside I’m against with. As a young adult it’s a shame that for two decades of my existence I still can’t rationalize and make wise decisions, newsflash! Just when I thought I was able to make my own path it turns out my choice was not the best for me. I was driven by desperation and frustration which made me grabbed whatever is available just to ease my anxiety [unaware that it will only lasts for a short period of time]. I sucked big time! I learned that you’re the one who creates your destiny by choosing which path to take, no SIGN can help you decide especially if you mistook some unusual circumstances as God’s way of saying “Go for it, this is your GO signal.”

I realized things would be much easier to handle and carry out if and only if you know what your heart truly desires. Unfortunately I don’t have that in me, my own heart won’t even speak to me the heck! All I know is that it aches just in time when things turns out the other way around then realization hits me, “What a huge mistake!” Last thing I know regret comes flooding in and drowns me until I can’t breathe [I’m not happy anymore]

What if I waited a little longer? what if I did not accept this job? what if I had gone through exam and interview invitations? Tons of what ifs, but I can't take back what has been done and I only have one chance which I already wasted. What's left to me now is make the most of what I have and don't let all my parent's sacrifices go to waste. I'll face the consequences of my actions, probably the most mature thing I can do for NOW.

Even though opportunities flew away from my grasps I'll make this experience a lesson learned. After all we learn from our own mistakes, right? :)

Before I end this entry I'll leave something hoping someone out there who's in the same situation as I did can read this and somehow can be of help to him/her...

"Never settle for less, don't JUST grab/commit yourself to something out of desperation/frustration. I'm telling you when long-awaited opportunity knocks, it'll be all worth it :) so keep waiting and be patient."

Picture Perfect

Camera 360...

VSCO Cam...

And all those other trending photo editor.

These apps were made available in just one click, you can beautify any photo by cropping, filtering, focusing, just name it anything is possible. 

Now redirecting to why I'm typing this post, it made me realized that a single enhanced photo can mean so much that even though just for a matter of one second shutter everything seemed RIGHT, FLAWLESS and just PERFECTION. I envy those who are good at this 'cos if you'll ask me I sucked! I'm not that creative and photogenic. To make it simpler I'm just not very fond of taking pictures then edit it for the sake of posting at some social media site. I'm more of an observant/browser/stalker type of netizen haha, I love looking at those pretty pictures of scenery, food, OOTD, etc. I don't know the ones who posted it personally but by seeing their posts it's like I got a glimpse of what their private made public lifestyle is. "Showing-off" others might say but for me, I treat it as a form of art and entertainment... By mere editing your photos you're already unleashing your creative side and by posting it on web you're sharing not just a simple photo but as well as the experience that photo entails.

All those taken pictures are really for keeps for in that very moment you captured something MEMORABLE ^^,

My FAMILY Away from Home

Last Saturday I fought the urge to go home in the province and there I spent my weekend nights ALONE in the staff house which is so depressing and triggered "homesick syndrome". I've never miss my family this much, maybe because I can't be with them like what we usually do during weekend family day.

On the other hand, what made yesterday (June 28, 2015) so special is because I got to finally meet Maricon a.k.a Tieria Erde. She's a friend I came to know through text during my HS days though we haven't heard about each other our meet up was warm and comfortable, it's like we're not strangers. Kimchi was with us, the three of us start our day by attending the mass. That's my personal favorite part of our Sunday get away, God as the enter of our friendship. That very moment I didn't felt alone, like I have a newly-found family in the form of Kimchi and Maricon. It was a nice and unforgettable experience I'm telling you, I rode the MRT for the very first time with them, ate heavy lunch at Greenwich (where me and Con finshished our plate clean >.< haha dinaig pa namin si Kimchi given that he's a guy). After eating lunch and a lot of chit-chat we decided to watch "San Andreas" basically to scare ourselves about the possible earthquake that might occur as well here in Manila, I'm holding my breathe during the action-packed scenes but at the end of the movie the homily I heard swept off all my fears, with GOD I felt secured and safe. After the movie we went to see the  'seaside', it's pretty dehydrating since the sun is still at full blast but everyone on the ground don't mind as they enjoy the scene, the flashing waves and the conversations they shared with their love ones, it's like I've seen the real "FUN UNDER THE SETTING SUN".

"One day was not enough", I said and both of them agreed. We can't get enough so we promise to see each other some time in the future. 

I enjoyed all these things with my so-called family away from home :)))

Till my next post, Ciao~

Away from Home

So today is my 10th day of working and being independent. One word to describe everything that I've been through "EXHAUSTING", kidding aside it's what I ask for so serves me right >_<.

I've been trying so hard to adapt to the sudden change of environment plus getting along with the people around me is a major task. For example at home (I mean in the staff house) we were five in there but it feels like I'm living alone haha just when I thought we were getting along, one moment the harsh reality that "we're still strangers" was being slapped into my face. Being alone is something I fear about but it looks like I have to get used to it :)

Now getting to what this post is really all about... I MISS HOME!!! my Dad, Mom, two siblings, Ate Flor and of course dogpuppy! TBH, I just wanna fly home but there were things that restricts me from doing so. I wonder if I made the right decision, tons of what ifs kept bugging me, well it was just my second week so I'm still at the verge of adjusting...we'll see what I'm up to in the future ^^,


Ciao~
P.s this weekend I'm not going home, poor me T^T